The Help

Yeah, I know there's a film out at the moment with the same name.  I haven't seen it yet, but from what I gather it is somewhat related to the content of this blog entry.  Whatevs.

Incase you didn't know already, I am working as an English Teacher here in Brazil.  It's really hard to classify people into 'classes' in Brazil, since the gap between the rich and the poor is a massive gaping canyon, and classifying people is never a good idea.  What you need to know for the purposes of this blog is that Sao Paulo is the economic hub of Brazil (and South America in general, for that matter).  There are a lot of wealthy, rich people living in this city and they live very well.

However, you don't need to be a multi-millionaire to have help around the house.  We live in a one bedroom apartment and we have a maid come once a week to completely blitz the place, wash our bedclothes and defrost the fridge/freezer when it needs it.  In London I would never have been so extravagant.  I would have done the bloody cleaning myself, it's only a one bedroom flat for chrissakes.  Here, having a maid is not considered an extravagance - some people consider it a necessity.

I have mentioned before how labour is cheap in Brazil.  For most people here who are what I would normally categorize as middle-class in England, it is very normal to have a maid clean your house.  Most of the students whose homes I teach in have a maid (or two) who comes in every day.  I've been to a couple of homes that have a live-in maid.  When I tell them I have a maid that comes in once a week, my students often ask me: "What do you do the rest of the week? Once a week isn't enough!" The general consensus is that I should have a maid clean the flat twice a week.

The first apartment I stayed in did have a maid twice a week & apart from cleaning, she cooked rice, beans and some Bahian (as in, from Bahia - a state in the North East of Brazil) specialties once a week for the owner of the apartment.

A lot of larger houses and apartments were (and many still are) built with a maid's bedroom near the kitchen & service area, hidden away from the rest of the home.

It's all a bit Ancient Rome/Pre-war England, really.  A significant amount of people in this city spend their lives having everything done for them: dry-cleaning, laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping - the list is endless.

However, as a student said to me last week (she employs two maids at her house), this state of affairs cannot go on forever.  The Brazilian economy is experiencing a massive boom on a scale never known before.  Brazilians have never had this much money or opportunity.  The army of maids, valet parking attendants, cashiers, doormen etc will not want to be doing these jobs forever.  As the price of living increases in Brazil, they will demand higher wages (as they should: they are usually paid minimum wage, about £250 per month), they will (hopefully) receive a better education, they will have higher expectations of their lives - basically the whole hiring of 'help' will become something less and less accessible.

It's very interesting to be living in a country that appears to be right in the middle of a modern Industrial Revolution.  They might even end up having an actual revolution.  Errr....come to think of it: I hope not, that would be quite scary.

Brazilians are shameless white liars

Yup, every one of them is on some level.

This stems from the primal Brazilian need to please, or to be "simpatico" as they put it.  It can be both sweet and infuriating at the same time.

It is also related to their fear of causing offence.  By "offence" I don't mean being politically correct, I mean causing social embarrassment.  This means they will say whatever they think will make you feel good.

This can range from "You speak portuguese really well" (liars: I know I don't), "I love the British accent, it's so refined"(they find it really hard to understand) to "Let's meet up for beer sometime" (otherwise known as "I never want to see you again").  The problem with the last one is that they will actually give you their contact details (email, facebook, mobile number), you'll get in touch, they will respond, but the actual meeting never happens.  They will keep saying things like "I'm really sorry I can't do Saturday, can we reschedule for Monday? I'll email you with a place to meet".  You never receive that email.  When you follow up, they reschedule for another day and again don't confirm.  Or worst of all, they organise a day, time and place to meet, but they don't show up.  That one is pretty rare, but it's happened to me once.

What they consider politeness - in this case - we consider being unbelievably rude and thoughtless.  Where I come from, when you say you'll do something and you don't, you are instantly labelled as unreliable and flakey.  Here, it's just a matter of course.

They are incapable of saying a straight up "no".  It is not a part of their culture: it's considered incredibly rude.  I have had several students who work for large international corporations complain to me about how demanding Americans/English/Europeans are, that they are always having to work late to meet their demands, etc, etc.  I always then pose the following question: "Have you tried saying 'no'?"  The answer is always "I find it really hard saying 'no'".  No shit, you're a Brazilian.

The general rule is, unless a Brazilian actively communicates with you about meeting up after your first contact, they don't want to see you.  I do miss the English approach: if you don't want to meet someone in a social situation again, you just don't offer.

During my first couple of months here I found this part of Brazilian social etiquette infuriating.  Over time, I have come to understand that it is simply a part of their culture and I must accept it in order to avoid incurring a heart attack.  So, I have.  Now, when a Brazilian says to me "hey, let's meet up" I say "yeah, sure" and forget about it unless they contact me first.  "Live and let live" is the best attitude to take here.

And if they tell you your Portuguese is good, don't believe them.

Gay & Lesbian Scene in Sao Paulo - so far...

Sao Paulo Gay Pride Parade, Avenida Paulista

There have been some unbelievably rapid changes in law and attitude towards gays and lesbians in Brazil in the last 10-15 years or so.  Cities like Sao Paulo, Rio de Janeiro and Florianopolis are some of the most gay-friendly places to visit on earth.  The countryside of Brazil in places may be a different matter, but that's the same in most 'gay-friendly' countries anyway.

I regularly see PDAs between gay and lesbian couples every day in Sao Paulo, far more than I'm used to seeing in other cities like London, Toronto and Vancouver - all cities with sizeable gay populations.  

Despite having a slightly smaller gay population than Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo has the largest Gay Pride Parade.  In fact, it's the largest Gay Pride Parade in the world.  This year, on June 6th, 4.5 million people are expected to attend.  It has grown steadily in attendance since the first parade in 1997, which attracted 2,000.

My experience of the gay/lesbian scene in Sao Paulo so far, and from what I've been told, shows it to be very different from what I'm used to. 

Firstly, the amount of gay-oriented and lesbian-oriented bars/clubs in Sao Paulo is pretty much equal.  In London there are far more gay-oriented bars/clubs than lesbian-oriented ones.  The only bar I'm aware of that is specifically 'for' lesbians in London is 'Candy Bar' (which is a god-awful hell hole).  I remember hearing about something called the 'Oak Bar' in North London, but I lived in South London so it didn't appear on my radar.  There are quite a few lesbian 'nights', but very few dedicated venues. 

Gay-oriented bars and clubs in London, however, are diverse and many.  There are numerous gay venues in Soho, Vauxhall, Clapham, etc.  The majority of these are inclusive, which means that any member of the LGBT community (and in a lot of cases straight people) can attend.  Lesbian venues in London tend to be more 'cliquey'.  I remember once visiting the [now defunct] Glass Bar in Euston: I had to knock on a closed door, a girl popped her head out, looked me up and down, checked that I knew what kind of bar it was, then let me in and closed the door behind me.  This was back in 2005 - that kind of crap wasn't necessary, even for security reasons.  Candy Bar used to be almost as bad, but it has become more inclusive since being taken over by Ku Bar (a gay-owned chain of bars in Soho).  Lesbians (i.e, me) who aren't uptight will often attend gay bars/clubs because they're more relaxed and fun.

Generally, lesbians in London don't appear to go out as much as gay men.  They're more homely, they don't spend as much money when they go out - I used to think it was because lesbians were boring, but it's not.  It's just English culture.  Not everyone is like that of course (I'm not like that and neither are several of my friends), but it's a decent majority.

Things here are different.  Brazilians in general like having a good time, they like going out, they enjoy being sociable - it's a big part of their culture.  Lesbians here generally follow suit.  Lesbian venues here can be a lot of fun.  I went to one called Vermont on Sunday for their samba night.  There was an equal split between gay and lesbian clientelle, it was a very mixed crowd.  Gays are attracted to some lesbian venues in Sao Paulo the same way lesbians are attracted to some gay ones in London - they're just more relaxed and fun.  

The other nice thing about LGBT venues in Sao Paulo in general is that they're open to everyone - there's no one at the door checking if you're gay, there's no one giving you the once-over.  A venue may be oriented a certain way, but it's by no means exclusive.  Which is nice.  

The whole 'us and them' attitude doesn't help anyone and I'm glad it's not really an issue here.

Pavements in Sao Paulo, or the lack thereof

Being a pedestrian in Sao Paulo is a bit of a thankless task.  The city is clearly set up mostly with cars in mind.  Paulistanos love their cars.  Having said that, it's not set up particularly brilliantly for them either, but it's better than being a pedestrian.

In most cities I have known and lived in, the local government or City Municipality is responsible for maintaining pavements (sidewalks to Americans).  The local government in most cities is responsible for keeping pavements level, well-maintained, ensuring that they are accessible to the disabled, and safe to use.  Oftentimes, local government is responsible for keeping pavements gritted in cold weather to avoid accidents.  If a local government fails in this task and their negligence causes injury, they can be sued (and often are).

In Sao Paulo, this never f**king happens.  The Prefeitura (prefecture/city hall) doesn't appear to be in any way responsible for pavements.  Each individual property that opens out onto a pavement is responsible for the section of pavement directly in front of it.  Each property doesn't appear particularly responsible for keeping the pavement level, accessible, safe, or ensuring that pedestrians are able to step from one section of the pavement to the next without falling flat on their faces.  Some properties have well-maintained pavements and others clearly haven't bothered touching theirs for years.

Sao Paulo is also an extremely hilly city in parts - especially either side of Avenida Paulista (the main drag - think Oxford Street but not as obnoxious).  A lot of streets have very steep natural angles that are hard enough to deal with, never mind having to negotiate crappy pavements that go up and down without rhyme nor reason.

Paulistanas (female residents of Sao Paulo) are rather fond of high heels.  When I say "high heels", I mean the six-inch kind that could kill someone.  The fact that I have never seen a woman lose her balance or fall over in this type of footwear - given the atrociously unsafe state of the pavements in this city - never ceases to amaze me.  How the hell do they do it?  It's a major life skill - they should give lectures on the subject!

I personally have nearly lost my footing a few times, but they've always been near misses...and I wear flats...always.  As time goes on and I become more adept at moving myself efficiently around the city, my little 'trips' become more and more infrequent.

Still, some decent pavements wouldn't go amiss.

Observations: Kitchens

As previously mentioned, most apartments and houses only have a cold water supply.  A proper hot water supply such as we are used to in Europe/US/Canada is the preserve of the super-rich and, err... footballers.  This means the sink, washing machine, etc all only use cold water.

Kitchen sinks are usually square/rectangle-shaped and deep.  Most sinks will have a double-sided draining board which is completely flat.  Older/nicer apartments & houses will have draining boards made of solid stone.  Some more modern and cheaper draining boards are just made of metal.  They're crap.  The draining boards made of stone are obviously better, you simply use a squeedgy to wipe the water and dirt off.

Kitchen appliances in peoples homes often look cheap and/or old compared to what you would be used to.  Don't be fooled.  Kitchen appliances in Brazil - especially in Sao Paulo - are really expensive.  Seriously, even in GBPs they can be 2, 3 sometimes 4 times the price depending on the brand and how common/rare the style/type of appliance is.  People here don't replace washing machines or fridge-freezers because they are old/don't look nice/don't fit in with the new decor, they replace them only if they stop working.  Getting appliances that match is the preserve of the rich too.  Brazilians tend to buy the simplest thing that works.

This is because almost everything electrical in Brazil is imported and the import duty is astronomical - at least 60% - not to mention 20% VAT added on top (in SP state).  Having said that, good appliances can last a long time and we have been impressed with the reliability of their gas stoves & ovens.  The child safety catches are a pain in the ass though.

Dishwashers are rare, I haven't actually seen one in a house or apartment yet.  They are available, but again they're expensive.  Also, the people who can afford them can usually afford a maid to come in a couple of times a week and clean for them, and they'd rather have that than a dishwasher.  It's all a bit Ancient Rome - I'll write a blog about it another time.

Most kitchens will have an additional room/area attached to it called the 'área de serviço' (service area).  This is a room specially for doing laundry.  Here you will find an upright washing machine, a handwashing sink (very deep, with an angled ridge for scrubbing), and a clothes horse (often hanging from the ceiling - ingenious).  There are usually some cupboards and storage in this room specifically used for household cleaning products, laundry detergent, etc.  Brooms, brushes, rubber floor sweepers for washing the floors are kept here too.  The área de serviço is always well ventilated and near a window for the rapid drying of clothes.  It is rare to see a dryer in a home: they use up a lot of electricity and they're not needed most of the time - clothes dry quickly in the heat.


Kitchen floors are almost always tiled.  They will often have a drain or two on the floor in the room for the purposes of cleaning the floor.  Tiled floors are cleaned by flooding the floor with soapy water and pushing the water towards the drains with a rubber broom.  The rubber broom also wipes the floor dry.  I much prefer it to mopping - that takes ages to dry and you have to keep wringing the mop.


Brazilian kitchens don't often have a lot of kitchen surfaces or room to prepare food.  I have no idea why this is, it's really aggravating.  We end up using the sink area a lot for that kind of thing.  Also, they don't tend to have a lot of cupboard space.  I'm mystified by this, too.


Cutlery and crockery are cheap and tatty looking.  Most people use cutlery that has plastic handles, it's unusual to see decent quality all-metal cutlery.  Decent quality crockery sets are also rare (and expensive).  I've seen a fair amount of plastic crockery in use.  Ceramic crockery is expensive, even the kind we would normally consider basic.  Brazilians love their tupperware - every home has an impressive stock in a range of sizes and colours.


They use pressure cookers a LOT.  Mainly for rice and beans (which they eat all the time), but I'd imagine it's for other stuff too.  It's actually a novel way to save on gas consumption.  Brazilians are very concerned with keeping their gas and electricity bills down.


Toasters: they don't use them.  They all seem to have electric sandwich-makers and toaster ovens, which is nice, but they're not toasters.  They don't eat toast.  I, however, do.  I'm English: I like to eat toast for breakfast.  Toasters are available to buy (they're not very good), so we bought one.  It makes me feel human,