Communication blocks, gays and supermarkets!

OK, so I NEED to learn Portuguese.  FAST.  There’s only so many hand signals I can think of for “yes, he’s a very cute dog” (people keep stopping us on the street whenever we take my mum’s Chihuahua out for a walk).  Here is a picture of said dog – named ‘Squirt’ – to illustrate:

Squirt the chihuahua*

The weather is pretty warm here, but it dips right down at night by about 15C.  Being on the 7^th floor makes it even colder.

The supermarkets here are quite impressive – very little processed food.  They never got mad cow disease here because they wouldn’t be daft enough to feed their animals anything other than what they naturally eat.  Vegetables and fruit are plentiful and varied – some things I’ve never seen before and I don’t even know if there are actual English names for them.  Garlics and onions usually have an entire section to themselves – they’re usually surrounded by huge piles of dead skins, presumably because people don’t want to pay for the bits they aren’t going to use. You wouldn’t get away with that shit in Sainsbury’s.

Things are not dirt cheap here, so if you think you’re going to come on holiday and spend hardly any money, think on.  Prices are very slightly less or on a par with London as far as most things are concerned.  Food shopping is slightly cheaper, but electronics cost a bomb.  I’m waiting for someone to fly over from London so I can ask them to bring me a bloody flatscreen.  Screw paying R$1249 (£500) for a not particularly impressive 32” LCD.  I’m more than happy to pay whatever tax the customs want to slap on, and the £70 additional baggage fee – it’s STILL cheaper than buying it here.

There’s something to be said for having a lesbian haircut here – I don’t look like a soft touch (even when I’m carrying the Chihuahua) & every gay guy who speaks English is falling all over themselves to tell me what to do, where to go, where “our people” hang out.  We went to have a look at the Portuguese school the other day to check it out – mostly so we know where the hell we’re going – and one of the teachers there recommended an area in Rio for us to look for flats.  “I think it’ll be good for you,” he said, nodding, “the beach there is very nice.  It’s OUR beach.”  I swear he was doing jazz hands as he said that.

I’m starting to understand what pretty much every Brazilian I know has said to me about Sao Paulo: “yes there’s a lot to do there, but I wouldn’t want to live there”.  The place is dirty, busy, dangerous, overcrowded, and doesn’t even make up for it in beauty the way Rio does.  Or so I’ve heard. 

P.S. These are great, you should try one.

*Squirt is the official company mascot of the website BeARichBusinessBitch.com - check it out!